Three fucking losers with no drum kit! Seriously who do these guys think they are... they aren't making music, they aren't doing shit, they don't even have a drum kit. They're trying to be a real fucking band and shit, and what have they got? A toy Casio, a bunch of recorders, and some fuckin' pop bottles to make noise with. The youth don't understand how much effort it takes to make REAL music.
Making your tracklist for your album at the suggestion of drunk people at a party, then playing it all out until you're either laughing so hard you can't move anymore, or you've fallen asleep. That's not music... that's... that's bullshit!
kp0kok9ijknm: Dear Universe
A ukulele, vocals, and poetry trio has hit the scene with a name that I will fatally choose to pronounce as Pokemon. With lyrics by Andrew Burrows, organiser of Opportunities in Disguise and certified Malayan Movie star, has supplied buttloads of lyrics to make songs out of. The first buttload has been delivered, a tiny album called Dear Universe.
RHEIA VASQUEZ: MUSIC IN EVERY GENRE
Rheia Vasquez, a noise musician who once played in Hertz, has informed us they've been reading:
"Oh yah bud that's some cool shit u got here, i mite wel throw sum shit rite yp there ya hear me? i had this thing in mind i been thinkin about it all the times eh so its like ima do every genre of music and make some shit for it"Lord Vasquez tells us they plan on making "a few or more" songs in every single genre of music and give us the story on each release. We were skeptical, but the Lord promised us that they'd
"doo every fucken flavour of ear dancin there is pal".Rest assured, it would happen. But the Lord still offered one warning:
"the thing is u know im like listening to tooons of music from like who the fuck even knows where every day you know, but i'm gonna do the genres in the order i wanna. and like i dunno if you'll even know this shit i'm doing i mean like i don't even fucken know you know, like... idk bro lol who knows haha"We were persuaded! Surely Vasquez would uphold their word, as they promised us,
"some shit I did way back in the day was on Kingston Underground, that bullshit Queen's thing you were talking about earlier."They've given us their first release in this series, a double EP, with two genres (don't look at us) "interpreted" by Vasquez:
YOU, YOUNG PATRIOT, ARE INVITED TO OiD 2!
Come one, come all, bring your instruments and brain music and join our improvised orchestra for the recording of our second symphony, Opportunities in Disguise #2!
With the assistance of beautiful fate, we know our music will be flawless, because there are no mistakes, only opportunities! PLEASE BRING:
-Guitars, basses, amps, ukeleles, amps.
- Keyboards of any flavour
- Drums, bongos, tambourines
- Voices, minds and spirits
-Anything you please!
This shit will probably be going down at the Artel on Feburary 9th and probably have a price of 6$ or pay what you can, but all must be determined by fate.
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